What happens when men and women fall in love


The cost of love is not only physical attraction, love is more spiritual comfort, love is two people in this society under the cruelty to each other a warm harbor.

Fall in love,

The so-called passion period, colloquially speaking, is the time when we have a peak experience of life, as if we have come to heaven. It is a very wonderful and unusual feeling. But for how long? The science has done the research and the statistics, the shortest is four months, the longest is not more than a year and a half. This suggests that there is something physical about the erotic period, that it has a time limit.

Science has found that when we are in a passionate state of love, the brain activity is very similar to that of drug addiction, when the brain is mainly stimulated by dopamine, endorphins, these stimuli will bring us a strong sense of pleasure, a strong sense of attraction to each other. This intense feeling, since it is an internal material stimulus, will have a time to die, there is a time limit.

After the deadline passes, what happens next? The next thing is the difference between humans and animals. The fact that humans can have such a long period of passion is quite different from animals. Animals don’t have periods of passion, they have periods of estrus, and after that, females and males are not interested in each other. It may hurt our self-esteem to say that human passion can be roughly equal to animal heat, but it’s true.

The institution of marriage points to lifelong relationships. If our relationships are organized and processed purely by hormones, then our relationships with people are short-term. These factors that create short-term effects are not matched by a real, genuine emotion.

What has to do with short-term attraction? The first is the way we look, the way we sound, the way we nonverbal, and so on. Everyone has some special qualities. For example, a writer is attracted by love poems, an athlete is attracted by muscles, and a beautiful woman is attracted by her body and face. Each kind of person has certain qualities of his own that form an external attraction.

As soon as these external attractions are created, our period of passion begins, and when they die, our period of passion can no longer be sustained. A lot of women will say, after the age of 30, a woman begins to go downhill, 40 is like the evening to sell cabbage, old color decline. There is also a view that men are lower-body animals, and they only care about youth, beauty and other factors of appearance, which is based on the perspective of the short-term passion period, that is, human beings are equal to animals.

So what can sustain our long-term relationship after the passionate period? In the past, the answer was often morality, the family’s interests, identity, economic status and so on. But these are relationships, not emotional relationships.

For a long time, women did not have the right to divorce. A man may divorce his wife, but a woman has no right to vote, no economic right, no right to her own name, not to mention the right to divorce. This means that women will lose a lot of external rights. Before liberation and even during the Cultural Revolution, women did not have real relationships on the emotional level, but were more mixed with many economic and social factors. What can we love but our bodies? A long term relationship is one in which, even after the passion period, the two of us can still maintain a close relationship, and we have a close feeling, not just like family. Now many people say that when marriage starts to pass the passion period, we are no longer lovers, are relatives, this is the theme of marriage. This is actually using the ancient way of thinking to see marriage, there is no doubt that it can not really maintain our contemporary marriage.

The relationship between people ultimately comes down to the emotional level, and there is a lot we can explore and evolve on this level. We’ve been biased in the past by either shutting out deep emotional relationships or narrowing them down to animal estrus.

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